Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Changing landscapes

view from an eastern kitchen window

The kitchen/eating area of our home is no doubt my favorite space in the whole house. And it's easy to know why. It's the view. With six windows and two sliding glass doors, we have nearly a panoramic view of our back yard. But these days the view is changing. We broke ground just nine days ago on the addition that, in a few months, will become my mother's new home. Mom will have her own apartment attached to our house. Everyone in our family is excited about it too. 


The landscape AND the landscaping is changing. Everyone in our family gets to see it, hear it, smell it and feel it. And I imagine each one of us will experience the changes in somewhat different ways. 

view from the west & basement walls of new addition
Mom and I had planned on taking a week long, road trip vacation beginning yesterday. We chose this particular week to be away since the framing and roofing and likely, the most noisy period of this home addition, would be taking place. We have cancelled our trip. My mom's brother, my Uncle Chuck, has been in the hospital with complications from COPD. He is now back in his home but he has needed us to coordinate home healthcare services for him. The landscape of his life is changing too.

I was around the house for the demolition of a good portion of our backyard. And it looks like I'll be around for the noisiest part of the building project. These things make me feel anxious. Uncle Chuck expresses feelings of anxiety about being back in his home and still short of breath.  I bet he'd gladly trade his anxiety for mine.

Are there changing landscapes in your life that bring on troubling feelings? 

How do you deal with change and/or the feelings that accompany them?

As a caregiver or a care-reciever, what are the most difficult changes you have encountered? Where did you find support?







Monday, July 7, 2014

I DROPPED THE BALL

No, I don't even think that I dropped it. I think I tossed it to the ground and kicked it away. I haven't been able to sort out all the feelings and experiences that have been filling my days...and weeks. So months have passed and I haven't fulfilled the promise that I made to myself to blog regularly. My spiritual practices have fallen to the wayside. I've had very little exercise. I haven't been practicing good self-care. In fact, I'd say my behavior often has looked more self-destructive...especially on those days that being kind to this body would have been the logical choice. Why is it that when I need it the most, I turn my back on that which, I know from past experience, can help me back out of the mire and darkness that my heart and soul is sinking in? What will it take to turn this behavior around? 

Do you know what I'm talking about? 

What do YOU do to "snap out of it"? 

How do YOU get yourself back into a rhythm that is more healthy and healing and anything less than harmful?